Just A Phase

You thought you had it all.

You thought you had the riches of the world.

But it's just a phase.

You thought "this is it"

You think now "that was just shit".

It's just a phase.

Think again

and again.

And then actually think.

And think once more.

Cause nothing is worth throwing your life for.


Don't lose hope,
never live in vain.
There will always be a rainbow after hard rain.

Years In The Making

Okay, today my relationship with Roselle Oliman made it to it's fourth month. I know people think it's tacky to celebrate the so-called "monthsaries", but I think the past four months I had is something worth writing about.


I have never in my life spent four months this happy before. Seriously, I have never had a full day wearing a frown on my face. And I know it's because of Teng (Roselle's nickname). She never gets tired of holding me up all the time. I keep her close to my everyday life. I let her know everything that's happened about my day, and it's when I am troubled that she gives me strength. I have never met anyone so joyful and lovely as she.


The past two months have been the greatest. Brutal and yet great. We faced summer together even when we were so far apart. We missed each other but there was nothing we could do but wait. There has been too many trying times. But we went pass them. Scratched, bruised, wounded. But in the end those thorns and punches are what made us stronger. Better individuals even.


I find her very different from other girls - girls I have been with and other girls in general. Which is what I think makes the most difference in our relationship. I love every bit of her, even her imperfections. Yes, imperfections. They let me know she is real. That what we have is not something to be doubted. Or thought of as a "too-good-to-be-true" sort of relationship.


She's the kind of girl I would hold on to for the rest of my God-given life. I love her dearly. Too young I am you say? To know love to such a degree? Well what is love if not real love? I've always thought it funny when people say "'wag muna mag-seryoso". How could someone take love lightly? I refuse to. It's not like it is a choice. No one can stop love, real love at that. And that is what I have been living with for months now. A girl that turned into a lady, and a boy transformed into a man.

Jazz Ain't Extinct!

Incognito - a British funk jazz band that hit the music scene 30 years ago. It was and still is one of my favorite bands of ALL time.


I first heard from this band back in the mid 90's when i was a kid. My mom always listened to this as she exercised in our living room. Me and my twin sister Chelsea would always sit, our backs against the wall, and we would watch our mom movin' to the groove.


If only music nowadays would make this much sense. If only there were more bands like these. Bands that are worth every penny, every peso. Maybe piracy wouldn't be so much big a deal today eh?


I think I am part of a rare group in my generation. A group of teens listening to jazz. And I don't even know how big or small that group is! The only person I know who is as young as I am who listens to this is my twin sister! How sad is that?! Wouldn't it be just cool to be in a jazzfest and the people you see are youngsters? That would be the day. :)

Spewing Deathly Thoughts

Scrambled thoughts
sprawled beneath my feet.
They feel like sand
and in a sense they are..


Rough as they may seem
truths they gleam.


Certain of uncertainty,
doubting doubts.
Knowing my frailty
as I sift through this sand.


Time and time
and time again
these thoughts come in seasons.
Cold and true.
Dark and blue.


Death comes quick,
death comes cold,
death comes brutal,
death will make you fold.

Right?

Every minute of every day I spend thinking of what will be and what might have been. I think of the decision I have made and those I did not make. I make only the right decisions, or at least what I know are right and are on the right terms of being right. But what happens when what you believe in and what you have to do go on different directions? What would be right? Everyday we live with ourselves trying to make up for things we did in the past we know or knew were wrong. May it be from killing a living, breathing dweller of this earth to forgetting to do the laundry. Whatever we may do to make up for the crimes, sins or what you want to call it, that we have committed, would it make a difference? Would it compensate for the wrongs we ourselves have done? May it be consciously or unconsciously? Could we live with the guilt? Would anything we do matter anymore after we have sinned against a person?


Too long and far too many times we have thought only of ourselves and what is best for us. I think it is about time we thought about others and about something higher than the physicality of being and doing right. It's about time we be right in and out. Don't you think so too? Whoever you are reading this?

Unforgiven

The unforgiven
has forgiven
many times before.
How many times have I washed ashore?
What mistakes are really accounted for?
Discussions inexistent.
Words broken not bent.
Same faults made by two
and yet outcomes changed.
I have understood
while i was misunderstood.
I have given yet dare not take
chances that would leave me alone
when i wake.

Symphony Love

I looked for truth
and saw comfort beside it
in your heart.
I found no despair.
I found melody.
I found a symphony.
Your love is a sound
echoing through the corners of my heart,
and the spaces in my soul.
There is no question,
no room for doubt
in your love.
It is where I will be found for all eternity.

The Fallen

Between what was real

and what was fake

the little boy did not see

any difference.

As the shadow walks past his room

he knows "he" did it again.

Like fall, the leaves trinkle to the ground,

and then blown away to a distant place from home.

His hope is deteriorating,

flowing away from the exit wound.

But everyday he smiles,

Like he knew nothing.